Verne Ho for Unsplash
We all want to avoid stress and risk as much as possible. As humans, we’re hard-wired for seeking comfort. Yes, curling up with a soft blanket and watching Netflix DOES sound better than dressing up for that networking event thing you have to do for work that fills you with anxiety.
So why should you put on those heels and get your small talk on? Because we all need to step outside of what feels safe and into what feels uncertain.
The only way to move forward in life is by stepping outside our comfort zone.
This might sound cheesy and obvious, but in practice, it is quite a struggle for many of us. If you’re an introvert, you might have an especially hard time if you’re tasked with a public speaking assignment, or have to attend a work dinner, or need to run a meeting for a client. And what about if you’re dating? Does meeting someone new feel like an uncomfortable performance? It’s so much easier to keep swiping and messaging than it is to make plans, meet new prospects in person (and perhaps get rejected), and put forth a real effort in your love life.
If anxiety takes hold of you and it seems impossible to take that first step outside your comfort zone, take heart. You’re not alone. But that first step is important – it creates the path forward, which is the only way to move from where you are right now, which is stuck in fear. When you avoid new challenges because you don’t want to take a chance, you’re making choices out of fear. And if there is one thing I’ve learned, if you choose to stay comfortable and avoid your fears, life has a way of forcing challenges upon you.
Here’s why it’s important to step outside your comfort zone:
You grow.
What exactly does this mean? The root of all anxiety surrounding staying where you are is a fear of failure. There’s the possibility that you could mess up and flub your speaking gig or say the wrong thing at the wrong time. But you have to risk failure to make progress. Our fear of failing is the number one obstacle to not pursuing our dreams. So would you rather not try at all, and then later wonder what if…? Wouldn’t you rather look back on your life and know that no matter the outcome, at least you’ve tried? That you won’t feel the regret that comes from avoiding those risks?
I can honestly say the things I’m most proud of in my life were the things I was terrified to do. Here’s one example. I hate performing and get severe stage fright. Still, I played music in front of audiences for years (while my anxiety never lessened). But these concerts gave me joy, too, because I loved playing music. I loved performing with other musicians. It was challenging to prepare and perform, but the reward far outweighed my fear. I had the courage to show up, to play. I realize this also prepared me for many challenges I faced later in my work life.
You keep learning.
I like learning new things. When you step outside of your comfort zone, you’re embracing the mindset of a student. You’re learning, which keeps your mind sharp and your creativity flowing. New experiences also provide new perspectives. Our thinking and ability broadens. Plus, it’s just more fun than the same ol’, same ol. Think of an artist who is learning a new craft or medium – you want to explore and play around a bit. Dip your toe in the water. So give yourself permission to play, to learn, to embrace something new.
You connect with others.
It takes a lot of effort to meet and connect with new people. This is especially true if you’re faced with a difficult transition, like a move or a divorce. You’re forced to break out of the old routine and network of friends and reach out to new people who might be very different. This is scary because you might get rejected or hurt, but it’s also a wonderful opportunity. You never know what another person can bring to your life until you make an effort to connect!
None of us live in a bubble, separate from one another. We crave connection and to be understood. When you push past your fears and put yourself out there, when you are willing to make yourself vulnerable, you connect.
Don’t let your fear outweigh your desire to change, experience new things, and grow.
XO,
Kelly
About Kelly Seal
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
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