Whether you are signed up with a full profile on Match or swiping through Tinder, there tends to be a point where you’ll hit a wall with online dating. Maybe you get tired of all the endless bad or boring dates. Maybe you message people and never hear back.
Or maybe you have been on a few dates recently that makes you think – things are looking up!
Why do you think that sometimes online dating goes well, and other times it completely baffles you? Why are people and dating so confusing?
The answer is: it’s all in your approach. If you know what you want, you’ll have an easier time finding it.
Ask yourself: what do I really want? A boyfriend? A hook-up? A long-term relationship? Be really clear about your intentions. And then follow through with action – don’t cheat yourself by pretending to be cool and non-committal.
Own your truth.
I know, it sounds kind of New Agey. I like meditation, yoga, self-improvement and all that stuff, but seriously – applying those techniques to dating seems kind of pointless. Because people can be so—ugh, flaky.
But really, we get what we put out there, and that includes murky messages. Get clear about what you want. All this means is that you are going after what you want. You aren’t letting others – or the “dating scene” – decide that you can’t find someone special. That all you can hope for are a few messages and maybe a hook-up. That you must act detached from the process of trying to fall in love.
This isn’t “the end of dating.” Online dating has been around for years. More than one third of married couples today met online, according to Pew research. And the numbers keep going up. If you are meeting only flakes, consider focusing your search to a site like eHarmony as opposed to endlessly swiping on Tinder. If you prefer the dating apps, try Bumble or Hinge, which takes its focus a little more seriously by “outing” peoples’ relationship status from Facebook so you won’t be duped.
There are many opportunities to raise the bar with dating. It’s time we started to recognize it.
Read my latest for Digital Romance to find out more details about what you can do to improve your dating life right now.
About Kelly Seal
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
[…] So if improving your dating life is a resolution, it’s time to put your best foot forward and try a few new things. Change your dating profile, or at least add some new photos. Go outside your comfort zone. Take some risks. Date someone you normally wouldn’t. Go hiking on a first date instead of to the coffee shop or bar. But most importantly, think about what you really want from dating. […]