Isn’t that the million-dollar question? Luckily, I asked some of my favorite male bloggers a while back what their thoughts were and you can read it here.
For some of us though – it’s not just about what attracts a man, but figuring out what makes him stick around, so you’re not bouncing back and forth between happy and depressed, waiting for texts and the next time you’ll see him. That’s why those “Rules” books sold faster than a paperback copy of 50 Shades of Gray. (Okay, maybe that’s an exaggeration.) Apparently, it’s all about figuring out what his game is – the man’s – what makes him tick, right? With Christian Grey, it was all about being a submissive (and relieving his own self-loathing, but I digress). With The Rules, it’s about making yourself unavailable and letting him chase you. Playing hard to get. Cuz a man – he likes to hunt.
Sigh. Yawn. Aren’t we tired of the games yet? Aren’t we tired of trying to figure out what a man wants and doing our best to pretzel ourselves into that shape and deliver? Or maybe it’s the opposite for some women – you’re so angry about having to play that game that every man who comes along is a little frightened of you, which doesn’t exactly make for warm, fuzzy romance.
So, what’s a girl to do? Pretend like she doesn’t care, hide her feelings, hope that he brings up his first? Act eternally cheerful, like nothing could make her sad or angry or “that crazy girl” one day? Call him and show she’s interested, or forget about him and move on to the next?
There is no one-size-fits-all answer to these questions. All of us have some weakness when it comes to relationships – and I’d like you to really think about yours – for instance, are you clingy, reserved, snobbish, insecure, too vulnerable, too hard, too something? Your guy has weaknesses, too – however amazing or chiseled or successful he is – and it will be hard to get to that next step if you’re not willing to brave past all that muck and try it out.
We all have our issues, our romantic challenges – and these take time to get past. Which means it’s important to get to know someone – truly know someone beyond the heady first dates and wild attraction. Which means giving men a chance when you might think – eh, I don’t know. Because in the end, you have to ask – is what you’ve been doing working for you? If not, maybe it’s time to try something new.
About Kelly Seal
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
Instead of trying to figure out what attracts a man, what about the idea of just, I don’t know, going up to him and talking to him?
If you want to know what attracts a man, look at this longest standing friend. That guy’s character will tell you all you need to know.
great post related to do’s and dont’s to attract a dating partner. one of the most important thing is to know more about the dating partner and identify what are the things attracts him/her. good one keep it up.
, I need to stress the word shloud . Women often make the mistake of assuming that sex = relationship. It’s very possible that this guy is just viewing you as a casual hook up. He may like the regular sex and having someone to hang out with, but at the same time he may not see anything long term with you. If you’ve been doing this routine for more than a month, it is reasonable for you to expect some sort of committment. You both need to be on the same page. If he doesn’t see anything long term with you, then you shloudn’t waste your time on him. It doesn’t take that long to decide if you want to be with someone. I’m a mid-30 s guy and I can tell you that in my experience, when I’ve procrastinated about committing to a woman it’s ALWAYS because I’m not totally into her and not sure that I really want to be with her. She may be a great person and I might be hoping to feel something more, but the truth is that I never will. With my last girlfriend I knew after our first date that she was the one I wanted to be wtih it happened literally that quickly. So to the ladies out there, PLEASE don’t waste your time with a guy who keeps you on the hook for months on end. If he is truly into you, he won’t have a problem committing to you.