I love it when dating phrases trend on Twitter. Yesterday, #WeAlmostDatedBut was gathering momentum. As you can imagine, it ranged from stupid (#WeAlmostDatedBut I found out you didn’t like Lord of the Rings) to thought-provoking (#WeAlmostDatedBut your insecurities and assumptions ruined what could have been a good relationship). I briefly wondered how many would admit #WeAlmostDatedBut I couldn’t commit.
It got me thinking again about Dan Slater’s article in The Atlantic, where he maintains that online dating has led to the downfall of committed relationships. Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free, on demand 24/7, and from any number of cows you want?
I thought about all the men I #AlmostDated. I thought about all the years’ worth of of choices I had, about how many online dates I’d been on. How many websites I joined. Ugh, it’s depressing. As I was reading Slater’s article about all the endless possibilities for hook-ups thanks to online dating, I wondered if I was living in some alternate universe. He seemed to think it was great – this idea of never settling down with one person, of online dating forever. Because there was always someone hotter around the corner. Why give up your options?
I did not have this kind of experience that Slater talked about. In fact, I had the opposite. Online dating made me crave an actual, committed relationship. A change from the endless procession of first dates, of comparisons, of coffee or glasses of wine on Sunday. I was bored with all the new faces and same conversations. I couldn’t distinguish one date from another after a while. The whole thing desensitized me to the point where I had to take a step back. To re-evaluate how I was doing everything. So I took a break. Then I came back again, still wanting that elusive committed relationship.
I don’t think the rise of online dating has contributed to the decline of relationships. Call me a crazy optimist, but I don’t think everyone out there who’s single wants to float around from date to date and never form a real, lasting bond. I think there’s something in the majority of us that craves partnership, community, and love.
I hope that’s not just me.
About Kelly Seal
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
[…] reminded of her behavior when I see people around me in public places on their phones. Especially guys or girls sitting alone at a bar or coffee shop or […]