Waiting

I spent 15 minutes last night in the Trader Joe’s parking lot in line behind three cars waiting for parking spaces to open. I have no patience for this sort of thing. None. I couldn’t back up and leave though—a line of cars had formed behind me and were holding up traffic. So, I waited and turned up the stereo while other cars blared their horns in annoyance.

I hate waiting. Anybody who lives in L.A. has to learn to develop patience, because you can’t go anywhere without adding an extra fifteen minutes on to your timetable for the unexpected road worker, biker, or traffic accident. I used to commute three hours a day to a job across town, and mostly sat in traffic on the 101 freeway. I wait in line at the store, and for gas. I wait for a seat at the bar, or to order my drink. (Having a smartphone doesn’t make me feel more productive, it makes me more ancy. I’d rather just get where I need to go than check more emails.)

I don’t think I’ve learned to deal well with waiting, because it’s a recurring pattern in my life. Against my wishes, I’ve learned to wait for all the good things…my first kiss, a promotion at work, a new job, a guy I really liked to call me, a new career, a car, time for vacation, a husband. This hasn’t helped me in an Eckert Tolle “experience life in this moment, right now” kind of way. In fact, it’s made me even less patient. I yelled at a woman last week who cut in front of me in line. “Did you not see me standing there???” I demanded.

The act of waiting does have a purpose. Not to get all new-agey, but it teaches us to be centered, peaceful, patient. It shows us opportunities where we’re not looking. Instead of waiting for yet another thing, whether it’s to get to a destination or obtain something I don’t have, I’m forced into patience – kicking and screaming. But – I’ve learned that eventually the 101 will open up, the line will move forward, I will get where I need to go. Maybe I’ll see something along the way that I never would have thought about if I hadn’t stopped. Maybe I wouldn’t have that life-changing conversation in line with someone at the grocery store. So why do I continue to get angry when I wait? What’s the point?

I read recently that in China, the government started working on a highway near Beijing and didn’t inform the people driving on it that it wouldn’t be finished for a few weeks. People were waiting in their cars for over ten days, hoping to move. I’m not sure where they peed, or how they communicated with their families. Local villagers were selling them food and water at ten times the price. People were just hanging out, on the road. I’m not sure how many of them will go insane.

This is a humbling thought to me. When we’re forced to wait, perhaps we learn a thing or two about ourselves. Like how we shouldn’t allow ourselves to get so upset, or how everything will be ok in the end. The extra ten minutes or even hour I spend waiting won’t break me.

That said, I’m going to try this next month to refrain from obsessing on when things will happen, and focus on trying to maintain my equilibrium in the present moment. I won’t get annoyed. i won’t get pissed. I’ll remember that things will eventually open up, and I can move forward. And in the meantime, I’ll take advantage of that little extra time spent waiting and talk to the person in line next to me.

About Kelly Seal

Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.

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