I’ve been filled with inexplicable anxiety since the start of the new year. My life is not exactly where I want it to be, but I’m not sure what to do to get there. Whatever that means. It’s the journey, not the destination…right? Although my head keeps telling me I’m getting older and pretty soon I won’t be able to slide by on what I “plan” to do in the future. I’m already past grown up by about 15 years. Perhaps I need to embrace the fact that I’m not one of those lucky people whose fortunes line up at appropriate times, like this friend of mine for example:
– Travel the world for a year after graduating college
– Get awesome job at 23
– Get promoted at 26
– Get married at 27
– Get promoted again at 30
– Have kids at 32
My timeline looks more like a faulty engine:
– Graduate college at 22 and take first job offered so I can pay my bills
– Break up with boyfriend of 4 years at 26
– Move to another state at 27, take first job that comes
– Get laid off at 28. Start new career and get a salesman for a boyfriend.
– Job hop for the next 7 years, trying to find my ideal workplace. Date lots of guys only to figure out what I don’t want.
– At 36, see above. Head for New Zealand to go paragliding.
Now, I’m not a cynic. I’m just wondering how some people manage to have such easy choices presented to them, while the rest of us seem to be living in some alternate-timing universe. I know that I am capable of having good things. My life has been erratic, but it’s also been rich, unexpected, and full of good stories and friends, which I can’t say for those who have things more clearly mapped out.
Would you rather have the easy, secure timeline if you were assured of marriage, a well-paying job, etc.? Or do you prefer to be surprised by life and take your chances…knowing that your timeline will not look like everyone else’s?
About Kelly Seal
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
Life is what happens while you’re making other plans – said John Lennon. Not sure why it came to mind here. Make it happen for yourself, take a risk – easy and secure are for bores.
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/
maybe its the choices we make?
or maybe we are looking at a good thing but don’t recognize it?
life is a map created by the choices we make at each fork in the road…
luck has nothing to do with it.
I think it is because we try and force life’s invitations into our expectations that these feelings of anxiety arise. Or at least that’s what the Buddha in me thinks. I dont think that other people have easy choices per se, but being able to go with the flow and adjusting accordingly is clutch.
And besides, who wants everything to go as planned? How boring would that be!