I’m happy to move on from 2011. Don’t get me wrong—there were some incredible things that happened this past year. But there were also a lot of things that sucked. I lost my motivation. I felt helpless and sad at those low points.
I love New Year’s. It reminds me to set my intention for the upcoming year. I feel like everytime January 1st rolls around, I get to wipe the slate clean and start again. Usually I emphasize this to myself by cleaning out a closet or something. This year, I was serious. I f***ing cleaned the entire house yesterday. Closets, pantries, everything. It felt good. I was a bit of an overachiever, leaving no disorganization in my wake. I must have used an entire box of trash bags. Enough with all the shit bogging me down. Now is the time to lighten the load, so to speak.
I want 2012 to be a new year. I don’t want to make all those resolutions I don’t keep past February 1st. (Although I am going to try a new diet…we’ll discuss that in my next post.) I want to do meaningful things with my life. I want to work hard. I want to accomplish things in my career. But most importantly, I want to learn to let go. I realized this past holiday that I hold on to too many things – old hurts, jealousies, and insecurities can rear their ugly heads at the most inopportune times. And my patience is starting to wear kind of thin.
I realize there are some things that are within my control and others that aren’t. The more I depend on things out of my control to make me happy, the more disappointed I am and will continue to be. My own happiness is completely my own creation. So this year, I need to take action. I need to create it. Piece of cake, right? Just visualize flowers and rainbows and puppies. Or kittens. Don’t get upset. Don’t get angry with other people or situations. See the good in everyone. See — it’s simple.
Not at all. I find the whole create your own happiness thing incredibly hard despite all the techniques to help me. It’s easy to throw the whole idea to the curb, because life doesn’t “work” that way. For instance – how many times have any of us used one of these: “If only I had… a better job, a better apartment, more money, a boyfriend or partner, more free time, a lucky break, etc. – I would be happier.” But I’ve learned that this simply isn’t true. Happiness is purely an internal thing, even when we try to make it dependent on something else. When you get that boyfriend, money, or lucky break, there are soon other things you want. You’re perpetually wanting when you depend on all of these outside things to make you happy. Again, true happiness comes from less than all that. It comes from a letting go.
And so, I wish all of you a Happy New Year and many good things for 2012. Make this year count. And hopefully now that I’ve cleaned out my house, it translates to some inner housekeeping, too. I am practicing letting go.
About Kelly Seal
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
I hate to let go but I know in my heart that is the way to go. I complain a lot about all the things I’d like to have accomplished in my career but when some baby step occurs I don’t even acknowledge it. I’m learning to let go and create my own happiness. Thank you.
Cintia—so nice to hear from you! Hope all is well. Let’s speak soon!