I found out today that (following a leak in the hallway next to my front door), my house might have mold growing in it. The first thing I thought of were all those crazy stories about people suffering from chronic diseases due to mold situations that were left untreated. Naturally, I freaked out.
The plumber delivered the sobering news to me. “Miss, there are different levels of molds. But I would get this checked in case it’s really bad. Sometimes it can spread through the walls within 72 hours. Then you got a problem. You have to knock down the walls.”
So, I called the mold specialist. Yes, it’s a big business apparently. He told me that mold can be airborne. “So don’t turn on the fan or air conditioning until I can see it tomorrow,” he advised.
So, here I am at the nice air-conditioned, hopefully mold-free Starbucks having a chai tea and hoping I’m not dying of some mold-related disease. The flood happened 2 1/2 weeks ago. We’ve had 3 plumbers by, and today was the first day we figured out what the problem was and what to do. Sort of.
Anyway, the mold got me thinking about love. Or rather, our own toxic romantic situations that, left untreated, could spread and potentially do us harm. Like staying in an unhealthy relationship.
We’ve all been there. Sometimes, it seems easier to stay in a bad situation…whether it’s dating someone who is married or taken, someone who treats you with little respect, or someone who is more concerned about himself than anything to do with you. Or worse. It seems better than leaving and being alone again.
We tell ourselves all kinds of excuses so that we can justify these relationships. “He will leave her when…” or “I know he really loves me even though he’s critical”. But as long as we keep making these excuses, we bury ourselves further in denial and further into the toxicity of the relationship. Our love’s problems and issues become our own. They’ve creeped into our lives without us realizing it. We have lost ourselves somewhere in the mix; lost our inner compass that tells us something is wrong. That the relationship isn’t serving who we are, and likely never will.
So, we have to break down the walls to remove the mold. In other words, we have to completely remove ourselves from the situation; walk away and never look back. We have to leave and heal in order for the toxins to leave our bodies, our hearts. Easier said than done sometimes, but necessary to our well-being.
Maybe the mold sitch is a good reminder. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. If you find yourselves making excuses about your partner or relationship and why you’re staying, reconsider. There’s still time to fix the problem before it’s out of control.
In the meantime, here I am at Starbucks keeping my distance, until the mold is removed and I can breathe freely again. That will be something to celebrate.
About Kelly Seal
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
i am so happy you have found me so that I could read this in return. you just touched on many things i can relate to at this point in my life. as a 31-year-old girl who has recently left a relationship with someone I was seriously involved with for six years, I can honestly say that yes, the pain is severe and self-doubt sets in every now and then… but on the flip side of that coin, I haven’t felt this great in years. i am at peace with where i am in life. i stopped stressing. once i stopped sulking, i embraced the things i once drew comfort from and i started letting go of the hurt, piece by piece.
i’m not on a timeline and i think that’s helped me. to heal is a process that is different for everyone. but you’re absolutely right: in order to experience that we have to walk away and never look back.
bravo, girl. i have added your blog to my links and am following you on twitter 🙂
ps: this? “Anyway, the mold got me thinking about love.” nearly had me spit out my coffee. LOL!
Hi Charlotte, thanks for stopping by!
I totally agree with you—there is no “accurate” timeframe for healing. It’s a daily process.
Thanks for the follows and links, I’m glad to have found you!
Oh no…I’ll bring you some of those cool doctors masks.
I could be looking in a mirror right now, you touvhed on a very touch subject. Yet we tend to stay in those toxic relationships. What is it with us women. We need to start looking out for ourselves as well from now on.