A quote from the beginning of one of my favorite books, Second Acts:
“Often people attempt to live their lives backwards: they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they really want so that they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then, do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.” – Margaret Young
I’ve struggled with this idea, on and off. I’ve jumped from job to job, switched careers, and tried to figure out how to do what I wanted to do while doing something that paid for rent, food, electricity, gas, etc. I couldn’t stand the thought of working 40-60 hours per week doing something I hated. Thus the job switching. But what I really wanted to do through all my jobs – was to write. I would squeeze it into the corners of my days…midnight to 3am during the week, or all day Sunday until I fell asleep at my keyboard. I put off friends, dates. All to do this thing that would never guarantee me a living or even that I’d be published.
Now I’m fortunate to dedicate more time to it. I finally made that switch, to fill my days with what I most wanted to do, rather than try to save enough money so eventually I could do this full time. When would that be? It’s not always easy, and definitely not always rewarding, but it’s what inspires me.
I was reading an article yesterday by Kathryn Stockett, author of The Help. She was rejected by agents 60 times over the course of two years. She spent 5 years writing and revising. She continued to work on this book, despite everyone telling her she should give up and try writing something else. She wanted to write this book. This made me pause…the dedication she had to keep writing and revising despite all of the negative response. That says something. I’m not quite there. Even nasty comments on my articles make me want to crawl under a rock and hide.
But this is the process. It’s not about doing what comes easiest…it’s about going through the struggle, because your passion for what you do overrides everything else. Because you have something to say, to contribute. But is the process itself happiness, or is being happy at what you do dependent on the end result?
I’m still deciding. I know I want to see results, but if I don’t, will this all have been a waste of time? No, I don’t think so. Do I enjoy this enough to keep doing it even if I never see results? That gets a little hard to say.
Right now, my job is to keep moving forward. After all, you have to go through the process to achieve any result. And I’m still in progress.
About Kelly Seal
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
AprilP says
You’re a great writer. Those are few and far between on these blogs. Stay the course, I think you’ll get there…
Kelly says
Thank you so much April! That really means a lot. What I try to do above everything else is connect. Thanks for commenting.
Camila says
1. I met my current ashbund on Match.com, so online dating services can work. We knew on our first F2F date, after hours on the phone numerous emails back forth before that. But we still took it (kind of) slowly.2. I did NOT bring up my (severe, medicated) depression/GAD on our first date. Probably not our second. I’d suggest not just blurting it out randomly, but an opportunity will likely come up pretty quickly so take it.3. Don’t make a big deal of it when it comes up. It’s just one part of you, it is not the entire you. The bigger deal you make of it, the bigger deal he will make of it (and may well freak out).4. I am a weirdo with a goofy profile Hey, if your profile is Real and Honest and reflects who you are, that’ll help a lot. Seriously. Fake profiles get you fake hits.5. Dating in your 40s is REALLY, REALLY FUCKING SCARY. Do it now before it gets scarier .6. It’s worth it. DH and I have been married going on 6 years I love him today just as much as the day we met.7. UNCE, TICE, FEE TIMES A MADY!!!!