Ok, I’ll say it. I have a few New Year’s resolutions.
I like this time of year, because it’s a chance to look back on the past and wipe the slate clean to start again. Maybe I’ve been reading too many books on mindfulness and meditation, but it’s a good time to set an intention and make a change. I have a lot of things I want to change in 2015, but for the sake of my sanity, I’m choosing to dedicate myself to a couple of long-term goals.
But the word “resolution” has become controversial. It implies success or failure, not merely striving towards a goal.
I’ve read a lot about how resolutions don’t work and are a waste of time – most people go to the gym or start the new diet for a couple of weeks, then take a day or a week off, and pretty soon they’re back to their old habits. Plus, they feel guilty, which adds a whole other layer of awfulness to the resolution idea. So, why not quit before the year even begins?
Because deep down, I believe we want to change how we feel. We want to wake up happier, we want to feel more purpose in life, we want more love. At least I do.
But I don’t agree with the idea of all or nothing, success or failure.
We all fall down. We all stumble. If we’re looking to instantly change, resolutions will always fail.
This is why I’m not quitting or dismissing the idea. This is why New Year’s “resolutions” can be a good thing. When else do we have an excuse – and when else can we be in good company with the rest of the world – to wipe that slate clean, to start anew, to hit the reset button?
Instead of stressing about some huge mountain to climb, start by thinking of the small steps. If you want to climb the mountain, it takes the effort of all the small steps. You can’t just take a cab to the top. So I suggest that if – for example – you want to find a romantic partner, to break it down into actionable goals. Don’t just join an online dating site or download a new app and see what happens. Think of the small steps in between.
Get a friend to help with your profile and photos. Choose fun places to meet your dates, to get you excited about them. Reach out to a specific number of men/ women per day or per week. Set small weekly goals, and then reward yourself for accomplishing them instead of berating yourself if you don’t find THE ONE within the first month of trying. (I’m reading about Buddhism – you have to work towards a goal, and then release your attachment to it. This just means that whatever happens, it probably won’t look like what you thought, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t exactly the right thing, or that your efforts were a waste. They never are. Sorry – told you I was into this whole meditation thing.)
We have to pat ourselves on the back for all that we do – especially when we are taking steps to make changes in our lives. This can make or break our dedication to that New Year’s resolution.
Gratitude is also important, it’s not a cliche. If you make a mental note and give thanks each morning for a week of everything you have in your life, you will automatically feel more positive, even if you don’t believe me. Try it and see what happens. The effect is real, even if it has become cliche to talk about.
Embrace the New Year as much as you can. Life is moving forward, changing and growing with or without us.
About Kelly Seal
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
I love this! FINALLY someone who isn’t ragging on resolutions! But, what you’re saying is true… and it’s also the reason why I don’t do New Year’s resolutions… I do new day’s resolutions baby. I am constantly re-defining, fine-tuning and adding new goals or working on bad habits. It’s a daily effort. Don’t ever think that one magic day’s decision will make the change in you. If you aren’t convinced daily of the resolution you made 6 weeks ago, it’s okay to modify or re-work it! Just keep working on you, and I think we’ll all be good.
We can choose to start over any time! We don’t only have 1 day.
Slip up? No problem! Dust yourself off, don’t beat yourself up, and begin again!
Great message…
Here’s to a wonderful 2015!
I completely agree, gratitude is very important part of life success. By being grateful for what we already have, we invite more good things into our lives. Great post!