I was having a drink (ok, maybe a few) at the Viceroy hotel the other night and chatting with a single girlfriend in her mid-twenties. Even though I have a significant other right now, I still love talking about the dating scene. I was part of it for so long, it became like a boyfriend itself. I had to figure out its nuances, its confusing pathways. It was sometimes joyful and fun and many times disappointing, but always there, ready to be confronted again.
Anyway, she was telling me about her latest date, who she didn’t meet online despite having subscribed to three dating sites. She met him at a college networking happy hour. So already he seemed promising: they went to the same college, they were in the same line of work, and they met in person through mutual friends. Better yet, he asked her to dinner on the first date.
They had a nice time, the conversation flowed. She was beginning to really like him. At least enough to have a second date.
But then he drove her back to her apartment, and insisted on coming in. Actually, his exact words were “I paid for dinner, you owe me”. Ahhh, how I miss dating!
She was shocked and confused, and had a right to be. The guy just assumed since he bought her dinner that she would pay up. Perhaps next time he’ll just ask a girl to coffee.
A few days later, she received a text from a guy she dated briefly. They’d broken up a while ago, but still remained friends and checked in with each other every so often. Less often since he met his new girlfriend.
But when she opened the text, it was a picture of him standing in front of his bathroom mirror naked.
At first, she thought it was a joke or some kind of drunk text. Maybe one he meant to send to his new girlfriend. But then the pictures kept coming.
“I don’t know what to do,” she said to me. “It’s not normal.”
Well, even though it’s not exactly normal for a guy to send a girl naked pictures when they’re not even dating, it does happen. I’m not sure what is going through his mind if he does send it, but I hope it’s not “wow, I look so hot I must send this to 10 of my girl friends.” Really? Do you think we get all worked up?
I didn’t know what to tell her, outside of deleting him from her contacts after she calls and tells him he’s a douche.
I had to admit, I left the Viceroy feeling pretty good about my own life and significant other. It’s confusing to date, and these random acts don’t help much in figuring things out. However, I could tell her that not all of her dates will end this way. She just had a run of bad luck and should to keep trying… Despite our stories, most people are not douchebags. But sometimes, all you can do is (ahem) get back on the horse.
About Kelly Seal
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
Haha, dating does yield absurd stories! And it’s true, most people are not douchebags. But it’s so difficult to remember this when you seem to be swimming in pool that is teeming with them :). I’ve yet to receive naked pictures, but I’m working on knocking that off my checklist…
ahh yes the dating scene… never a dull moment… though truthfully most of the moments are also filled with frustration at the pool of douchebags you could meet out there.
That’s hilarious. She should have put them on Facebook… and tagged him. 🙂
Man-shopper: Wow, you have been missing out! Yeah, it hasn’t been long since I’ve dated but things don’t seem to change. Mostly, I wonder how some guys think this is totally normal.
Jo – The douchebags stand out in my mind. Not the boring ones, of which there were many more. Sigh.
Singlegirlie – Haha! I should have mentioned FB to her—good idea!
I can’t wait until I get to this point in my particular douchebag swim. Great post.
*Plentymorefishoutofwater – One Man’s Dating Diary*
I think that I’m more shocked about the “you owe me” guy than the naked picture guy. It’s bad enough that some guys think this, but to come out and say it, I just can’t imagine anyone having the nerve to say that.
Sometimes I wonder what people are thinking. I’m hoping the two men…um boys….you describe are very young. And that their behavior is chalked up to ignorance and lack of experience. Otherwise their actions are downright scary.
Hopefully your friend will meet someone cool soon.