Tomorrow is New Year’s Eve, and I’m not feeling up to making my usual list of resolutions for the New Year. It’s not that I don’t have things to improve upon—believe me, I do—it’s that I’m exhausted. I’m kind of hoping to ease into the New Year and catch up with the resolutions in another week or two. When I’m feeling up to reflecting and improving. Right now, I just want to veg in front of my TV and not deal with anyone. Period.
You see, despite my best intentions in trying to do everything right, I tend to slip into old patterns. No matter how far I’ve come in recognizing and changing behaviors that weren’t working in my life, they keep appearing. I can be reactive, jealous. I can withdraw easily. Sometimes, I’m not sure what to do with my anger and frustration, so it becomes hard to just vent. I realize that I’m not as in control of things as I’d thought. Sometimes I wonder if I’m capable of handling obstacles…even ones that I’ve handled before. When they keep reappearing, I have to ask myself why.
Despite my best efforts, I fall short of my own expectations. And for that reason, I don’t want to make a list of resolutions where I will fall short again. I’m not perfect, and as Black Swan taught me, I don’t want to strive to be perfect. I just want to be at peace with myself and able to handle the recurring obstacles in my life. But as I’ve found, even this takes a lot of courage and perseverance at times. And right now, I want a break.
I’d rather do what I can each day to change what I can change, and accept the things around me that can’t change. If that means that for the next 2 weeks I hide out and don’t jump on the resolution bandwagon, so be it. There’s time for all that later.
So, have a happy New Year’s Eve everyone, and best of luck in 2011! I will see you then.
About Kelly Seal
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
Striving for perfection is worth the bunions, Kelly. 😉 Happy New Year to you!
May it be a year of good health, lots of success, money, happiness and lurrrve. 😀
Ha! Thanks, well said. 🙂
Happy New Year to you Wilmaryad, and best wishes for 2011!
Yes, the holiday season brought out the need in me to relax also, unlike most years where I’m like a holiday version of the Energizer Bunny. I guess we all need that sometimes. I took my longest break ever and now I’m ready to jump back in and get things done.
Wishing you a fabulous 2011.