In the last couple of months, I’ve found myself feeling so old. I never used to feel old. Sure I’d make fun of the fact that I was “past my prime”, but really, I feel like I’m just getting started. The first 30+ years were just a warm-up. It took me this long to figure out what I was doing. Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber knew at 15. That was never me.
I guess the thing is, I’ve been spending time around pre-teens and teenagers lately, thanks to my new stepdaughters. That’s right. My husband has a teenage daughter, which is pretty scary stuff when you think you’ve made it past 30 and you still haven’t figured things out. I still feel like a teenager sometimes, when my insecurities surface. But when I’m around them I just feel..well, not to be repetitive. Old.
I thought I knew pop culture pretty well. I’m up on my social media, though I’m not the world’s most technically saavy. I mean, I have a blog! That gives me more cred than anything, right? Not so much.
They look up to their friends who are in their early twenties, in rock bands, in college, enjoying life’s freedoms before they grow old enough for people to start judging what they’re actually doing with their lives. I’m envious of this freedom sometimes. I had to get crappy jobs to pay for a roof over my head at their ages. I had to walk 20 miles uphill in the snow to go to school. Ok, I didn’t. But i could have.
But then I realized, nobody’s ever too old. No matter how many jobs – or careers – I’ve had, I can have new goals. In fact, I need new goals. I crave learning. I liked being a student. I was that nerdy girl in class who would raise her hand to answer questions. I can’t just say “I’m old enough now” and start telling everyone else what I’ve done and what they could do, as though it’s the end of my story. No thanks.
So you see, as long as I keep wanting to learn new things, opening myself up to new opportunities and meeting new people, the world never gets old. I should stop thinking about age as a number, and instead, to be cliche, as a state of mind. It’s true. I’ve met some pretty kick-ass 70-year olds. Two of them who hiked the W trail (10 day trek) in Patagonia. That’s my inspiration.
I think this is all coming about because I turn the big 4-0 this year. Shiver.
So, I think I’m going to finish this tootsie roll. Then I’ll go run outside in my bare feet (ok, maybe my Uggs since it’s cold). Life is good when you have your whole future ahead of you. And it’s still TBD.
About Kelly Seal
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
*Bitch slaps your nose with a feather and exclaims* You’re gonna be 40!
Oh my God, Kelly. You do not look it, at all. I thought you were 25. What’s your secret? Spill the beans. I’m waiting.
But I relate.
Then, today’s youngsters live in a different generation that enables them to experience, in a year, what we experienced in 5. While those kids know lots of things, they aren’t that smart. Their learning has become facilitated, yet accelerated, which makes it passive. So, we’ll always have the upper hand. 😉
On an even brighter note, 40 is the age at which one’s full potential explodes.
Do I hear a BOOM? 😉
Thanks Wilmaryad! Let’s just agree that I am 25. I’ll go with it.
And yes, that was a boom. 🙂
Interesting point about accelerated learning. I never thought of it that way, but true. I don’t want to separate us and them, because again, I don’t want to feel older and wiser. I’m not. Ok, maybe a little wiser…
Well said Kelly! It’s nice to be reading your stuff again. I’ve been MIA. Retooling and refueling. I can see there’s been lots of changes for you, and all good!
I have an 86 yr. old jazz piano student. Actually, she just turned 87 last week, and she still has goals. I think that’s what it takes to be fulfilled, and to keep chugging along as we get up there in age.
Hey! Glad to see you back OOTG! Hope all is well…your site looks awesome.
And when I’m 86, I hope to be taking lessons too. Just not piano.