I’m geeking out a little. I mean, as much as you can geek out over a dating blogger and matchmaker. It’s because I spoke with Jozen Cummings, a New Yorker who’s not afraid to say what he thinks – and tell you who he thinks you should date.
Ladies, meet Jozen…
He is a man after my own heart. Namely, he thinks daters should set aside all of those high expectations, especially on a first date (i.e. thinking he should be gorgeous, talented, sexy, successful, have a full head of hair, be taller than me, etc. etc. to consider him as datable material), and opt for just having a good time. It’s not about settling, it’s about improving your overall dating experience. At least, this is what he’s learned from playing matchmaker in his popular Meet Market column in The New York Post, where men and women volunteer to get set up on good old-fashioned blind dates.
He created the questionnaire Meet Market participants use to help describe themselves to potential dates – questions like “What’s your guilty pleasure?” or “What turns you on?” He also gets to meet each and every one when they walk in to his office to have their pictures taken. (So no old and deceptive online photos, people!) Based on his brief interactions with daters and how they respond to questions, he matches three potential dates for one person to choose from.
“What if someone doesn’t like your matches?” I asked, always the skeptic.
He said he learned early on that people need to have an open mind in order to participate. “The goal should be having fun, and then seeing if you want a second date, nothing more,” he advises.
Sigh, if only it were that simple.
But it is that simple.
Sometimes we make dating really hard on ourselves. As Jozen told me, before he started the Meet Market column, he was very impatient. He wanted a connection right away (which doesn’t happen often), so usually his first dates went pretty badly. He kept moving on from woman to woman.
Now he’s much more relaxed and willing to have a good time. “I’m not in a rush,” he assures me. “I practice what I preach now. I keep an open mind. You never know what could happen next.”
Agreed. Not knowing what lies ahead – and being open to possibility – is the beauty of dating.
About Kelly Seal
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
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