I’m pleased to bring you another seasonal-appropriate guest post from Interior Design expert Molly Kay. Springtime is all about transitions, so we wanted to focus on an important relationship milestone to navigate: living together 24/7! She has some great tips on how to make a smooth transition when you decide to move in…read on!
Moving in with someone for the first time? This is an exciting milestone in any relationship! Spending more time together and blending your living space is a thrilling and creative experience – it’s a great way to enhance your relationship and show your support for each other. With that being said, there can still be a few challenges and stressors that accompany the big move.
Living together with your significant other is different from living with a platonic roommate (as you’ve probably guessed). You will likely face roadblocks that you could not have foreseen. When you live with your partner, you share a bedroom, meals and finances (among other things!) that you may not have thought about when you were swooning over each other in the beginning of your relationship. But don’t worry, every couple faces this transition, and there are certain tips we’ve learned along the way.
Here are a few ways to transition into spending significantly more time with your significant other…
Decide what chores you like to do together and what chores to conquer apart.
Whether you are living alone, with a significant other, or with roommates, there will be chores that you’ll have to take care of on a regular basis. It’s important to make sure that chores are equally divided, but think about which chores you each prefer. Do you like doing laundry and hope he cooks or cleans the kitchen? It’s perfectly fine to choose what you like doing – you’ll be motivated to make sure it gets done! So don’t get hung up on doing chores together or taking turns. Think about what you can each contribute, and if there’s something you both hate, then take turns. While responsibilities as a whole should be shared, it can be peaceful to find some solace in getting things done by yourself.
Have your own space within your shared space.
If you have ever lived with a roommate, chances are you shared common areas but had your own bedroom. Once you move in with your partner, you will presumably share a bedroom, so it’s important to have your own unique space, too. If you have limited space, this can be as simple as your own desk or reading corner. It’s important for your own self-care to have an environment that you identify with and can retreat to when you need some time for yourself. If you need some inspiration, you can check this website to pick out a piece to lounge on for your living room or a lamp for your nightstand that you think reflects your personality and style. You will be deciding on a lot of decor together, but there can still be pieces around your home that express your individuality.
Learn to be comfortable in silence
Living together means there will be more opportunities to hang out, which means that sometimes, neither of you will feel like talking. Being comfortable sitting in silence together is a crucial part of a relationship. If you feel pressured to constantly fill the silence, it will be exhausting – no matter how close you are with someone. Recognize that the “silent treatment” is different than finding solitude with your partner, which is a sign of strength in a relationship. It will be important to communicate, but it will also be important to be attuned to the other person’s desire for peace and quiet after a day of work or classes.
Love the imperfections and pick your battles.
Living with your person means you get to enjoy more of what you love about them, but you’ll also be exposed to their less endearing attributes. No one is flawless, and even the person you love most is bound to get on your last nerve when you’re sharing a space. You won’t be able to control your partner, but you can control your attitude and your perspective toward their actions, habits and quirky behaviors.
Be proactive rather than reactive, and communicate what small issues bother you the most before it becomes an argument. For example, rather than getting upset that your partner didn’t make the bed in the morning, have a conversation about why it’s important to you to have the bed made before you both leave the house. Don’t sweat the small stuff and be cognizant of what issues aren’t worth fighting about. Awareness is an important tool in recognizing what’s important and what isn’t.
About Kelly Seal
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
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