I was inspired by a post from the insightful Jeffrey Platts, who seems to always tap into those challenges in life that I’d rather not admit to or deal with. Like the fact that I compare myself to my colleagues and friends, especially when I’m online…what they are doing/ saying on Facebook and Twitter seems infinitely more appealing than my ho-hum life right now, staring at my laptop. Everyone else seems more motivated, successful or adventurous, whether it’s releasing a new book or traveling to hike in the Himalayas.
I’ve always done the comparison thing. When I was in middle and high school, I played clarinet and was always trying to get that first chair position. (Yes, I admit to being a band geek…) I wanted to be the best. Same thing with my studies…I compared myself to others who seemed more successful. I fell short, because there was always someone “better” than me.
Of course I also compared myself to my friends who were “better” at relationships and dating. Many friends got married in their twenties and started having kids in their thirties while I was still signing up for Match.com subscriptions. I’d wonder what they were doing differently from me. I wondered where I was going wrong. Constantly comparing.
It’s a tricky thing, how social networking can magnify our tendencies to compare ourselves to others. I check Twitter even when I’m on deadline to make sure I’m not missing anything. I’m getting better about Facebook, but I have to resist. I’ve learned not to leave these sites open on my laptop. It’s too tempting to fall down that rabbit hole. And as Jeffrey points out, everyone is putting the best face forward when they advertise themselves and their lives via social networking. This doesn’t mean it’s who they really are. Everyone has their own challenges and insecurities. Nobody is living the perfect life, even the ones whose lives seem incredibly put-together and successful.
I’ll try to remember this as I tweet this week. I am not my Twitter account or my Facebook page. I am me, in real life, figuring things out as I go along. My life consists of a combination of experiences, occurring at any given time: some are happy, sad, exciting, or boring. There’s nothing wrong with that. Life is all of these things, so I shouldn’t try to pretend someone else’s is somehow better, more exciting, or more fulfilling. It’s just different.
About Kelly Seal
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
Facebook can sometimes leave me utterly shattered — making me feel like I missed the train of life or something. I need to take this page from your book, Kelly! You are so right.
Thanks Helene. I’ve started checking Facebook only twice a day. Granted, when I’m on I kind of still obsess about what everyone’s doing. Maybe I should try limiting my time…