A few years ago, I ran into someone here in L.A. that knew me back when I lived in Austin. I didn’t recognize him right away, so i played along for a while thinking it would come to me. It didn’t, so I tried to keep the conversation vague. He didn’t really offer any details himself, and then he left pretty quickly. That should have tipped me off.
Then my ex-boyfriend reminded me, embarrassingly enough. “He was the guy you dated before me. I think you went out a few times. He was a lawyer and really conservative…” Huh? My ex remembered the details more than I did?
Now, I have a pretty horrible memory at times, but I’d like to think something that involves emotions, like dating, would cause me to recognize someone from my past. But many times, I don’t. When I run into old college friends who want to update me on certain people we went to school with, or old work colleagues that have news on our co-workers, I have no recollection of who they’re talking about. Maybe it’s that I like to put the past behind me, or maybe I couldn’t place someone from another part of my life (Austin) appearing in my current life (L.A.).
As you can imagine with online dating, this kind of forgetfulness made me nervous. I was constantly worried, since people join multiple sites and come and go often, that I would accidentally message somebody I’d already been out with. To me, it’s worse when someone doesn’t remember dating you than when they are openly hostile.
Luckily, this only happened once. I was emailing a guy (and I guess he decided to play along for a while) and I was excited about meeting him. Then he told me we’d already been out and there was no need to revisit the potential. Ouch.
It’s really quite disturbing. The thing is, when you’ve dated for nearly 20 years, it does get harder to remember all of the details and every person. But apparently I wasn’t paying enough attention to these men who came in and out of my life. And that’s a bit embarrassing.
Have you ever forgotten a date?
About Kelly Seal
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
D. Brent Ruyter says
I hope I’m not dating myself here but, yeah…I’ve forgotten dates. LOTS of them. Forgotten the dates, forgotten their names (long before I forgot the date). Maybe I blocked it out? I dated for 5 years after my divorce with months between some dating ‘streaks’. I’ve forgotten some, remembered others and I make no apologies for either! =)