When it comes to break-ups, the timing never seems right. Here we are right around the corner from Valentine’s Day,which can feel like a cruel joke. While it’s tempting to escape with someone new (or a bottle of Vodka, straight up), maybe it’s time to take a step back and focus on you – what you want and need (outside of another relationship) to make you happy.
Today’s guest post is from a contributing writer at dating site Badoo, who has some insight when it comes to break-ups. He hands out a bit of tough love – to help you care for and nurture yourself. Read on…
No one can doubt that breaking off a romantic relationship is tough. The temptation to rebound with somebody new can be overwhelming, but you are more likely to hurt both yourself and your new partner if you jump into something new without taking the time to heal. Sometimes it is better to retreat from romance for a bit and to look inward for solace and happiness. You may find that holding off is one of the best things you can do.
Find Happiness
The end of a relationship is the best time to focus on other areas of life, not just on romance. Sign up for a college course or tech class to improve a skill. You might find it more beneficial to focus on work and build up some wealth. Overall, you should focus on becoming the person you want to be and not the person that a romantic partner wants you to be.
Let Yourself Grieve
There is nothing wrong with taking some time for yourself to mourn the end of a relationship. In fact, it is helpful to give yourself a period of time to think about what transpired between you and your ex, so that you can realize where things have gone wrong and how you can avoid similar mistakes in the future.
Learn To Be A Better Partner
You can become a better partner in a new relationship by spending time alone. Though it might be tempting, rather than turning to alcohol or drugs, consider meditation and journaling. You will become a much stronger version of yourself if you learn to cope. Plus, getting into a new relationship while you are still obsessing about your ex is one of the easiest ways to end it quickly. You are going to run into the same issues you did with your ex until you resolve your problems.
Work On Becoming Healthy
You can take the time you are spending alone to become a healthier person, physically and emotionally. Focus on eating healthy foods and not skipping meals, (even if you’d rather toss back Doritos and Tequila for dinner). Sign up for cooking lessons to help inspire you to create meals that taste good and replenish your body’s supply of energy. A little extra sleep doesn’t hurt either. Exercise is great for the body and mind, as it releases endorphins that induce pleasure. For this reason, joining a gym or walking on a regular basis are great ways to feel better about yourself.
Don’t Mess With Another Person’s Heart
If you jump into a new relationship immediately after ending an old one, you are likely to hurt an unsuspecting person’s heart because you are looking for a rebound. You are still thinking about your ex and might only be using this new person to make yourself feel better. You need space and you need to refrain from contacting your ex again. You also do not want to use this new person as a way to release anger about your ex.
Ultimately, space is a positive thing for a newly single man or woman. You do not need constant company by a romantic partner; your time is better spent working on finding strength and letting go of negative emotions.
This article was written by Gregory Hutchinson on behalf of badoo. Check out their website for more information on how they can help you find other people.
About Kelly Seal
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
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