Today, I’m happy to share a guest post with you from Sarah Williams of Wingman Magazine. She has some tips for those who need a little motivation on the dating front…
Setting goals is essential to leading a fulfilling life, and dating is no different. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, it’s important to understand your own expectations about the situation.
I love lists, and I make them about much more than groceries. I have a Bucket list, a Travel list, a Recipe list, a list of publications I want to write for, a list of animals I want to own, a Shopping list, an Ex Boyfriend list, a daily To Do list, a yearly Don’t Do Under Any Circumstances list, and, of course, my list of Dating Goals.
This last one comes in handy whether I’m seeing somebody or not. I use it as a friendly reminder of the kind of person I want to be with, how quickly I want to move, and how satisfied I am in my current state. It keeps me on the right track and hopefully, one day, I can look back and say I accomplished every romantic goal I set.
We all have different hopes for our own love life.
Some of my friends refuse to settle down. They revel in the glorious possibilities within the freedom of being single. Others have been with the same person for years and are relieved that the search is essentially over. As different as these people might seem, they all have something in common: the desire to be romantically fulfilled.
Whether you’re available or taken, setting goals and sticking with them can help boost your self-awareness and set you up for the kind of dating success you desire.
Here are three goals to set while you’re involved:
- I will sacrifice the right amount of myself for this person.
You should never give up too much to be with somebody. This means your hobbies, friends, family, interests and time should all stay in tact even while in a relationship. Yes, relationships do require effort and energy, but they should not disrupt or eliminate anything from your life that makes you happy.
I gave up a lot for my first serious boyfriend, including much of my self-confidence, and I’m lucky to have gotten it back. I have since vowed to never let it happen again.
If you’re with the right person, this goal will come easily because the right person won’t expect you to sacrifice anything. He or she will love you just the way you are.
- I will communicate well with my partner. Good communication is the key to a lasting relationship. Whether you’re the kind of person that bottles up their feelings, or one who has trouble expressing their opinion without getting angry, it might be a smart idea to set this goal. It could honestly make or break your relationship.
- I won’t get jealous and I will trust my partner until given a reason not to. Jealousy can be a real burden on a relationship. Let’s face it, we all get jealous every once in a while and that’s not such a bad thing. It’s a clear sign that you actually care about the person you’re with; however, you don’t want it to reach an unhealthy level.
I have experience both with being a jealous girlfriend and having a jealous boyfriend, and neither one was fun. You have to remember; just because you’re dating someone doesn’t mean you own them. There is a fine line between being protective and overprotective, make a point not to cross it. Don’t self-sabotage your own relationship.
Here are three goals to set while you’re single:
- I will not put too much pressure on finding somebody. Life often hands us the right people at the right time, when we least expect it. So don’t look too hard. If you do, you might force a relationship with the wrong person. Trust life and trust your heart. They both have your best intentions in mind. Enjoy your alone time while you have it; it won’t last forever.
- I will seek out someone who is different from my exes. It’s time to switch it up! I hate to break it to you but you’re probably single because you’ve been dating the wrong kind of person. We all have our own “type” – the type of person we’re most attracted to, the type of person we fall for or chase after. It’s good to know what your preference is, but sometimes it’s even better to try something new. Expand your horizon. Don’t limit your options. If you’re used to dating a certain kind of guy and have had no success, seek out someone with a different personality.
- I will date somebody who complements me.
I don’t mean complimenting in the traditional “you’re pretty” kind of way. I mean someone who complements you – shares your own style and personality, someone who respects you and agrees with the outlook you have on life.
The best piece of advice my grandmother always gave me about dating was to be with someone who shares the same morals as me. For a long time, I didn’t know what she meant by this. Now that I’m older, I understand. You and your partner should agree upon what is truly important in life: hard work, family, laughter, patience, loyalty, kindness and tolerance. If you share the same morals, you’ll be proud to call that person your own.
Now that you have a few goals set, work on sticking with them. It might take a little time, and it might take a lot of revisiting your list; but trust me, it will all be worth it in the end!
Sarah Williams is an avid lifestyle blogger and a dating coach, who loves motivating people to reach their highest potential, eat clean, boost their energy and feel better in their own skin. Check out her tips on Wingman Magazine.
About Kelly Seal
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
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