I was reading an interesting article in YourTango about how married women often miss their “single woman behavior”. What that means is, once married, they aren’t often alone, and things like eating popcorn for dinner and watching chick flicks become a thing of the past. They tend to do more couple-centric activities.
This made me a little nostalgic. I’ve found myself drifting towards less alone time since I’ve been in a relationship. I used to do laundry and watch the Real Housewives marathon on Sunday afternoons, but now I spend them going out with my BF. Granted, Real Housewives wasn’t really filling my soul. (Except for the Atlanta girls—that was good drama.) But it was a ritual for me, and one that I didn’t feel inclined to share with anyone else.
Another single behavior: I used to eat peanut butter straight out of the jar for dinner. Those days are gone, too.
Anyway, I thought the article made a good point about enjoying where you are in the present moment. Instead of spending your alone time wishing you were with a partner, enjoy it while you can! Life will change, it always does. And one day you’ll find yourself with less “me” time (Real Housewives and peanut butter aside).
Alone time also helps you cultivate your own sense of self for when you are with a partner. It helps you remember who you are. So, all you folks in LTRs…it’s necessary to take a little time for yourself every once in a while, no matter how busy you are.
And although I love spending time with my BF, I’m going to Ojai this weekend with my girlfriends to drink and unwind (although one is pregnant, so maybe I’ll have her share of wine). As SATC taught us, BF time and alone time are great, but sometimes you just need to hang with the girls.
Peace and have a good weekend!
About Kelly Seal
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
Love this post, Kelly! I live for peanut butter out of the jar and wouldn’t have married a man who I couldn’t have continued that habit with, though. Of course in relationships you need to compromise, but you don’t need to give up pleasantries that comfort you like TV show marathons and food habits… your partner should adore you for all you are so long as those habits are healthy ones… my husband thinks my peanut butter habit is adorable, and knows it is paws off that jar for him! Just a thought… xo
Thanks Tristan! To be honest, I do sneak some straight out of the jar. I’m not sure if the Real Housewives marathon was very healthy, but it was fun. Thanks for the support. I do like the idea though of maintaining your “single behavior”.
For me it was salt and vinegar chips. Although my ex soon found out about the weakness and would sometimes buy them for me as a treat – I had to tell him to stop or I would look like a packet of chips!!
Even when living together deciding to have private time to chill in your own space makes such a difference! It’s just that you feel guilty when you are busted eating the chippies like a chippy monster!!
I agree moments in time are magic – appreciate them (with your man, your gf’s or cherished private time).
Nice post, Kelly. I’m getting to the stage in my life now where I don’t think I could sacrifice the me time (writing, watching Idol and picking my nose) for anyone.
*Plentymorefishoutofwater – One Man’s Dating Diary*
Ah, if peanut butter were to cost less than 5 euros for a tiny jar, I’d be eating it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner all the time! But I wonder if the longer I stay single, the more I become set in my single ways…
Man-shopper: Nice question…maybe a subject for a later post. I wish I could smuggle PB to you.
Fishy: I’ll say it again. Idol totally sucks this year. Can’t wait for So You Think You CAn Dance though!!
Cathy J – love me some S&V chips. Or the jalapeno ones. Mmmm.
I am with you on that one! It is so important to appreciate your life how it is and stay in the moment, however difficult this is sometimes!
Since doing internet dating I have realised just how much I like being single ha ha!
Read my blog about my journey at http://www.harrietbond.com