Today has been a frustrating day. Not for any particular reason, but just because of the general angst I’m feeling lately. Like nothing is happening when I’d like it to – my typical late-bloomer issues. And people around me aren’t behaving. And two people cut me off when I was driving a few blocks to the grocery store. Grrr.
When I get frustrated, I dwell. It’s hard for me to distract myself. Instead, I work up a line of defense—why I’m entitled to feel angry. Or be pissed off at someone. Or just justified in my anger.
I know it’s not productive. I know it’s childish. But dammit, I just can’t help it. But then I get over it and move on.
I wish for many things. I work towards many things. And sometimes I feel like I’m just treading water, trying to keep my head afloat. Then I look around and see others are gracefully swimming. At this point I know I’m doing the one thing that guarantees anger – comparing myself to others. Including those people who cut me off on my way to the store. Do they think they’re better, just because I drive a little Honda Civic and they are cruising around in Escalades?
So as we head into holiday season, I must remind myself to not dwell in anger or disappointment, jealousy or even longing. That patience is required for all things, as well as gratitude for what we have now. (Sorry, sounds like one of those inspirational posters…) But this is all true. I want to enjoy the holidays – not come undone by them. (I think this is just my frustration talking. As soon as they start playing Christmas music 24/7 my mood lifts. It’s chemical.)
So to all of you who may or may not know you are pissing me off: I am grateful. Now please stay in your lane and I’ll stay in mine.
About Kelly Seal
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
Love it! Some one described my behavior as “I want everything and I want it now!”, thanks for this.