I must admit, I’ve ignored matches from online dating sites if I thought the guys were too old. When I was in my twenties I had strict guidelines. If the guy was over 40 and had never been married, there must be a problem so they were out. If the guy was over 40 and divorced, he had baggage, so he was out. I thought 40 was the threshold of all things settling. Guys in their twenties and thirties were still young, strong, healthy, had less baggage and were, well…closer to my age.
Now that I am in my thirties and have been filtered out of searches myself because of my advancing years, I am no longer quite so picky. I shaved a few years off my profile from time to time, interested to see if my matches were much different, and not surprisingly, they were! When I said I was 29, I was quickly paired with younger, good-looking men with full heads of hair. When I disclosed my real age, it was back to the balding divorcees with children. (Dating someone with kids is a whole other subject.) Or the shirtless, tatooed Harley guys who seem to be surprisingly open-minded when it comes to age.
I hate that most of us believe the stereotypes about how people should look, feel and act at a certain age. Each person is different—compare the 50-year old who runs marathons to the 25-year old who drinks beer and plays video games all day. The 50-something is probably in better health and shape. I’d rather date him.
There is such a vast pool of singles out there, and we are all scrambling to secure the best guy or best girl we can find. (And if we find someone great, we are suspicious and keep looking for someone “better”.) Age is a factor is choosing of course, but does it have to be the driving force? Perhaps if you allowed potential matches a few extra years outside of your ideal, you could meet somebody worth keeping.
Anybody have a success story about dating someone years younger or older than you? Or maybe it didn’t work out so well?
About Kelly Seal
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
I stay strictly in between 16-63. Anywhere outside that and we just never seem to have anything in common any more.
I do have a limit, I always say between 29-45 (I am 35), however, I am not opposed to younger or older if they are interesting and good looking enough. (For example I don’t really want to date a guy with dentures or someone who just came of age to vote.) There’s been times when a 27 year old has contacted me, and I was flattered, but it just didn’t seem like we had anything in common. The same with the 55 year old guys.
But now I am curious to shave off some years on my profile to see what happens. But then what happens if you hit it off, will they be mad that you are really older than you said you were? Or will they not care because they like you and will overlook it?