I just read that Rihanna hasn’t been on a date for two years. TWO YEARS. While I seriously doubt she was including one-night stands (that’s not dating…) or maybe some Chris Brown here and there (what IS going on there?), I believe her. And it makes me sad to think Rihanna just doesn’t wanna deal. I mean, it’s not like anyone would reject her, or blow her off for a second date, or not text her back like the rest of us.
This is what she had to say in November’s Vogue:
“I would love to go on a date. You don’t think that? I’m a woman. A young woman, vibrant, and I love to have fun…” Then she continues with: “No one asks. Trust me on that. I’m waiting for the man who’s ballsy enough to deal with me. I’m going to wait, though. You always find the wrong s— when you go looking.”
Well, I guess she has a point. Guys – would YOU ask her out if you met her at a party, or would it be too intimidating?
This whole thing made me think about dating time-outs. People who choose not to go looking, to see if maybe that brings them better luck. As though not even thinking about it will make someone completely amazing walk right up to you and ask you out.
Personally, I don’t think it works. If you want something, you have to put some effort into it. Like instead of sitting at home night after night, go out and be social. Or instead of waiting for the guy with all those perfect qualities you want to ask you out, just start saying “yes” more. We think we’re just on treadmills going through the same motions and waiting for love to hit us over the head, when really dating gets us out of the comfort zone – helps break down that hard shell that surrounds each of us, the one that we think protects us from being hurt. Because it doesn’t. It just keeps us from having a good relationship. Dating gives us perspective and helps us understand ourselves better.
But I like time-outs. I remember when I’d rather go to the dentist than sign up for another dating site. And those of you who know me know I hate the dentist, even more than a regular doctor. Something about all those pictures of gum disease and missing teeth on the walls and the sound of drills makes me shiver. But I digress.
Time-outs are helpful to kind of reset your thinking. If you’re dreading dating, what makes you think you’d be a fun time with anyone? So take a few weeks. But two years – that calls for an intervention.
So Rihanna, I hope your agent introduces you to his cousin or something, and you decide to take your chances. It’s just a date.
About Kelly Seal
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
Leave a Reply