I admit that watching Millionaire Matchmaker is one of my guilty pleasures. Patti Stanger, the show’s star, runs a dating agency for (mostly) men who are millionaires…and sets them up with attractive, professional single women (who are not portrayed as gold diggers, but seriously…if they sign up to date only millionaires, it’s hard not to jump to that conclusion).
Anyway, in the series, Patti points out to the guys how clueless they can be. One millionaire hired a butler to feed him grapes and answer his door, another refused to do anything without his best friend…including getting intimate with a girl, and another took a girl with him to run errands and “haul junk” to make sure she wasn’t in it for the money. Whatever, guys.
Now however, Patti has written a book for the average dater who doesn’t have a million in the bank, and based on her interview with LimeLife.com, might be worth a read. She talks about “dating detox”, which means getting those bad dates and toxic relationships out of your head for good so you can “make room” for good experiences. When you have negative thoughts, it’s hard to attract positive experiences into your life.
I’m a fan of this idea. I live in L.A., and it’s a favorite pastime for both men and women to complain about the dating scene—everyone is fake, all the good men and women are taken, everyone decent looking is a player or looking for a career opportunity, etc. The thing is, so many people complaining that “there’s nobody out there” seems ironic, since all they have to do is recognize that they aren’t alone. There are many good people in this city to date: ones that care, ones that call you back, ones that want a real relationship. It’s the negative thoughts that hold us hostage to repeating those bad dates. If we don’t believe things could be better, they never will be.
Being open to possibilities when it comes to dating is key. You could be missing meeting someone who’s great just because you are hung up on a certain “type” of guy who likely hasn’t worked for you in the past. Time to get over your past and move on.
Funny that it takes a TV matchmaker for millionaires to point this out.
About Kelly Seal
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
Kelly, I was just about to write a blog post on this very topic. I also live in the LA area. Well, actually, Orange County, where the complaints I ALWAYS hear are “Orange County girls are so superficial,” and “It’s so hard to make a great connection here.” And I’m like, “Really? Really? Because if I could make a connection with a man in Seoul, KOREA, of all place, where the pickings really were slim if you wanted to date a Western guy, then you can definitely find some sexy Orange County girl who’ll also be looking for that ‘genuine’ connection.” It’s a cop-out, pure and simple, and in general it’s a pet peeve of mine that the people who should know the BEST that southern Californians are not all about money/appearances/boob jobs are the ones that fall for the myth the most. It’s bad enough the rest of the country thinks we’re a bunch of bleached-blonde, fame-crazy, wannabe starlets without having all the locals think so too. Ugh.
But back to Patti. I too like this show, when I catch it on Hulu (the “hauling junk” guy was cute but SO misguided) but I find Patti herself a little on the grating side, don’t you think? Ah well, that’s what reality TV is for: to highlight the weird ones. No wonder everyone thinks we’re all a little off in SoCal. 😉
Zoe
http://winkwinkwink.wordpress.com
I hate all that ‘I only date tall guys’ crap. An open mind is so important. I never thought I’d own a depressed cat called Mildred, for instance. Now I won’t do anything without her. Including getting intimate with a girl.
*Read about my dating disasters at plentymorefishoutofwater*
Ha! My cat actually purrs ALL the time. SHe is never depressed. maybe she should meet Mildred? (Disclaimer: I’m not a crazy cat lady.)
I almost didn’t meet my fiance because I was set on dating a guy older than me. My fiance is 6 months younger. If I hadn’t been flexible, I would have missed out on the love of my life!
Thanks for your comments! Congratulations Date Girl—thanks for pointing this out.
And Zoe, thank you too! I get sick of hearing the L.A. stereotype of fake, fake, fake. There are lots of good people here. Ones that aren’t players, or networkers, or trying to be famous or look like a model…and people still believe in the stereotype.
And yes, I do find Patti a little grating and high strung, but she is hilarious in pointing out everyone’s issues. It makes for good TV.
1. SHOWER (if you have cologne-spray just a tlitle, too much could be a turn off)2. Fix your hair3. Brush your teeth and make sure you don’t have bad breath4. wear appropriate clothings that look nice (depending on where you’re going)5. offer to pay6. HOld open doors at all times7. Make sure you have a lot of eye contact and smile a lot.8. A few compliments won’t hurt9. Check mirrors 10. BE YOURSELF if she doesn’t like you the way you are, i’m sure someone out there will! =DAlso, don’t move too quickly on a first date. Holding hands is ok if she agrees to. Hope it helps.