Ok, What the Bleep Do We Know?! kind of changed my life when I saw it. For those of you who are familiar with it, I was obsessed with quantum physics for a long time after that. The idea that our lives had infinite possibilities at any given moment, and that we had so much power to change the way we think about reality. Oh, and Dr. Masaru Emoto’s water experiment where he observed the physical effect of words, prayers, music and environment on the crystalline structure of water was quite trippy, too.
So….imagine how excited I was when a little press release about one of the movie’s co-creators hit my inbox? Betsy Chasse has written a new book called Tipping Sacred Cows, and in it she gets spiritual all over again – mostly about her personal journey since the movie’s success. It’s a funny, engaging, and pretty brutally honest read. It’s not for the faint of heart, in case you want to be told to be all peaceful and enlightened and shizz. It’s not exactly the way things work, according to Betsy’s book. Life is messy, and it takes all kinds of turns we don’t expect. Achieving nirvana isn’t the point – it’s embracing where you are and who you are right now that counts.
Anyway, we talked about all things dating and relationships, because (of course) that was what most interested me. You can check out my interview Q&A with her on Examiner.com.
But here’s a slight detour of something I found especially interesting. In the book, she describes how her four year-old daughter was playing with a friend, when suddenly her friend pointed to her daughter’s belly and said, “you look pregnant.” Her daughter was devastated and started crying. They were preschoolers, and already they were criticizing each other’s bodies! It seems that we are our own worst enemies. Here’s what Betsy said to me about that particular passage:
I have 2 kids and 2 c-sections. My stomach is not beautiful. I can do sit-ups every day, but my stomach won’t ever be perfect. After I got divorced and started sleeping with men, I was insecure. It took me a long time to realize that guys don’t really care.
We are programmed with images of women and beauty. But I got really tired of not loving my body. I know I will never be tall, that my stomach will never be perfectly flat. But when I started to have fun, to play with clothes instead of hate them, I found myself being more fun and sexy. It was a conscious choice. I now accept my body the way it is. It’s easy to hate my stomach, but thinking this way only makes me feel shitty. So I make a choice not to hate my stomach. When I try on clothes with that perspective, I immediately feel better. Even with bathing suit shopping – I concentrate on what feels good, what color I like, vs. the “ugh my body sucks!” perspective.
All our brains do is run the programs we give them. When you let your brain run amok, you will be miserable. Give it new input. Tell it, “we’re gonna have a good time. I choose fun.” It takes practice. I have a good strategy – I will go and pick out 3 outfits that will look good, then 3 that are hideous and laugh at how ridiculous they look. When I make myself laugh at something, it’s harder for doubt and fear to come in. I’ve done the work to understand where body fear comes from, so I can laugh and move on. Don’t hate yourself around it.
Love it.
About Kelly Seal
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
I need to check out this book…Betsy sounds like the tall glass of cold water that so many women need! I love how she paired her decision to love and accept herself with action! That is a key component that people ignore. Validate your feelings by “doing” things that make you feel better! Thank you for sharing.
Thanks Marrie…I totally agree. We can “think positive” all we want, but it really comes down to releasing those fears through action. Sigh. Now, just have to do it…