This is a topic I have thought about a lot over my life. When I was in high school and just out of college, I tended to get wrapped up in the lives of my boyfriends. I didn’t go out much with my friends, I didn’t call…I became a “girlfriend of” instead of a friend. I’m ashamed of this, but it’s true.
Now that I’m older and have had a few more relationships under my belt, I can say that it is a balancing act (despite the mantra of Sex and the City of “friends first”…in the real world, they would never have so much time to hang out together, and their children and families would come first…) I love being with my friends. They ground me. They remind me of who I am. They are supportive. And they are also busy.
But I love being in a relationship, too. I like the feeling of coming home to someone. I like how my life is richer in different ways than when I’m alone. But I don’t want the relationship to take over the other parts of my life. There’s work and other obligations to think about. There’s always a lot going on. It’s easy to get into a routine of just seeing my boyfriend, because it’s easy and enjoyable. I don’t have to work at planning. I don’t have to go out. I don’t have to do anything but just be. It’s a great feeling.
I wish I could say it’s easy to spend quality time with all of the important people in my life, but the reality is, many other things get in the way. All of us are busy. Some of them have kids. Some work crazy hours. Some are traveling all the time. We live in L.A. in different neighborhoods, and it can take an hour or more to get to each other. Others live in other parts of the world. We can’t always make it work, and so the days, weeks and even months go by and we don’t see each other. But I’m still thinking about them. They are still a very important part of my life.
I’m still trying to figure out a balance, to make sure too much time doesn’t go by so that we drift apart. I’m trying to figure out the balance of giving to my relationship, career, family, and friends in a way that works best.
Has anyone else out there struggled with these issues? Any advice or thoughts on how to maintain a balance, especially when schedules fluctuate?
About Kelly Seal
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
You know i am with you on that one, it is crazy, I just don’t have enough time for myself let alone friends. When you figure it out let us all know.