In late December, I was looking forward to making changes in 2016. Not monumental changes – I don’t believe in setting myself up for failure. But I thought I would get my life in order a bit more. Take care of myself. Strive for more. Some of my New Year’s goals were:
- Doing a 5-10 minute morning meditation
- Running 3 times per week
- Hiking once a week
- Writing for at least an hour every day
- Laying off sugar
- Doing more volunteer work
Right now it’s January 12th, and guess how many of these I have checked off? Right. None. Although I have gotten in one hike.
So I spent the weekend feeling bad about myself, indulging in even more sugary food and couch-sitting, telling myself that I’d wait for Monday to start fresh.
Then of course Monday came – 11 days into the New Year – and I was busy putting out fires and catching up from last week and answering emails from over the weekend. So, again, none of these things got done. I completely forgot about the meditation thing, too. Figures.
I really really really want these changes to happen. And they will. At some point. Again, I will try tomorrow.
But I’ve come to a realization about setting New Year’s goals. I can’t expect to be motivated if the goals I set mean nothing to me long-term. I need goals that address my subconscious intentions, too. Not just the obvious every day stuff. Let me explain.
First, I have to understand what it is I want underneath all the vows of healthier, more focused living. What I want to cultivate more of in my life – (and it’s typically not about losing those 10 pounds).
Here’s what I got, in order of priority:
- More confidence
- Inspiring projects to work on
- Connecting more often with people – friends, colleagues, etc.
- Developing my writing skills
- Trusting my gut
The thing is, I planned my first set of goals without really thinking about what practical steps will get me to my actual life goals. Running 3 times a week and laying off sugar will help my energy levels, but really, my main goal is motivation, inspiration, and connection. Not running. I want this year to bring forward movement into my long-term goals. I want to be inspired. I want to develop my current skills. I want to reach more people.
None of my “change” goals were really in line with my ultimate goals, which means I wasn’t really motivated on a deeper level. Sure, it’s great to be in shape. It’s great to write for an hour every day. But if I don’t focus changes toward my deeper purpose, they aren’t going to stick.
Instead, I need to take those baby steps that will help fulfill these long-term goals. I need to seek out what inspires me, even if I don’t know quite what that is yet. Thanks Elizabeth Gilbert for your TED Talk on this – please watch it if you are sick of trying to “find your purpose.”
I need to reach out to more people, take more chances, and have a little more faith in my own intuition. I can talk myself out of an awful lot – it takes effort to ignore those critical and hesitant voices and take some risks.
For 2016, I encourage you to question your own resolutions, and where they come from. Ask yourself if they really address what you want to change for yourself in 2016, or if you are just doing what you think you should be doing.
Ask yourself why you want to lose those ten pounds, and what it means to your long-term self. Ask yourself why you want to clean out your closets, and how that will help you create the life you want. Then your New Year’s resolutions might have a better shot of sticking.
I’ll keep you posted on mine.
XO,
Kelly
About Kelly Seal
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
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