For those of us in our thirties, dating can be stressful and sucky for the most part…guys and girls post old photos on online dating sites, they lie about age, height, etc. They are harder to meet, unless you go to bars, events, etc. on a regular basis.
Dating can also be thrilling when you meet someone who sparks your interest, where you feel that instant chemistry. Maybe they will call you or text you, maybe they won’t, but the anticipation is worth it. Love seems possible.
After I spoke with some teenagers about love this past weekend though, you’d think it was an endangered species. I was just curious about how they viewed dating. “Kelly, nobody dates anymore,” they said. Apparently, they just FB each other that they wanna hang sometime in the near future. Then eventually, if they happen to respond to each other’s texts or messages, they might find themselves together in a coffee shop until other friends come by or they can sneak off and “hang out” alone. There is no conversation taking place about whether it’s a date, whether they like each other, or whether it’s gonna happen again.
When I was in high school, dating was something people wanted. Dating someone who was hotter or more popular than you were was the primary goal—you wanted people to know that you were with that person. Unless it was someone less hot than you. Then you just snuck around until you got bored.
Now, there seems to be this status thing with teenagers to be permanently single and go from girl to girl or guy to guy. There is no status enhancement to have a girlfriend or boyfriend…it’s kind of a bad thing.
Since I talked in my last post about the world of dating getting murkier, it kind of scares me that a whole new generation of kids is growing up without any knowledge of falling in love, getting your heart broken, or any of the other rites of passage I had when I was in school. It makes me glad I’m not a teenager, which makes me sound like a grandmother. (By the way, I never walked 10 miles uphill in the snow to get to school…I took a yellow school bus with no seat belts).
Anyway, I still believe in love, and in having relationships. Even with all the hurt that comes with them, they are still so worth it.
About Kelly Seal
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
Really young people these days no longer date DATE? That is just sad.
I am not sure even Facebook has the power to banish those Loveheart moments of teenage puppy love. Did teenagers ever have PROPER dates like us oldies (though I’m only 29 he he)? I can’t remember going on a date (as I know them now) til I was 19. Before that it WAS just hanging out…which either led to constant hanging out and BF/GF status, or no more hanging out and, most probably, a lot of bitching.
*Read about my dating disasters at plentymorefishoutofwater*
My teenage life was consumed by dating, dating drama and talking about who we wanted to date (oh, and big hair–it was the 80’s after all.) I don’t know how anyone could find a lifetime partner if you don’t have heartache and make mistakes along the way. I’m definitely glad I’m not a teen any more (being the mom of a teen is dramatic enough.)
Fishy—good point. I just got depressed about the fact that getting a girlfriend or boyfriend seems to be a bad thing these days…and that every time I see a group of teenagers, they are texting other friends and not actually talking to each other. Kids today.
P.S. My prom dress unfortunately looked similar to the picture. At least my hair didn’t.