“There is a time in our lives, usually in mid-life, when a woman has to make a decision – possibly the most important psychic decision of her future life – and that is, whether to be bitter or not.”
― Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype
I came across this quote recently and it struck me – I have been this woman, waiting on the precipice where I could become bitter and hardened to love. It didn’t happen in my mid-life, it happened when I turned 30 and thought my life would look a lot different than it did. I had just had my heart broken. Then it happened again at 33, 35, and so on.
Now I know that happiness depends on my belief in it – despite my past break-ups, heartache, and uncertainty – everything else. Hope and love are things that I cling to.
But sometimes, we find love and push it away. We aren’t ready for a relationship. But why do we do this?
Here’s the truth: Sometimes what we think we want is not what we actually want. Especially when it comes to relationships. We look for love, and then turn and run away in fear once we’ve found it – maybe because it didn’t happen at the right time, or in the right way, or with the person you’d imagined. But here it is, waiting for you to accept it.
We go through many years of raging hormones, dating the wrong people, getting caught up in the highs and lows of love – and then at a certain point, we can become weary. We don’t think romantic love can weather storms, or even find us. We get used to spending our time searching, endlessly looking for that elusive thing. And when it appears, it’s not what we expect.
My recent article for Digital Romance delves into this subject – how to know if you’re ready and what that really looks like. Fear is real, but so is love. And so, we must embrace the fear in order to get to the love.
XO,
Kelly
About Kelly Seal
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
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