Yawn…getting past the boring date

In all honesty, I would have to agree with Marie Claire Dating blogger Maura Kelly when she said of her “year of living flirtatiously” and dating as much as possible…most dates are just the same boring exchange of careers, favorite foods, and places you like to go.

As much as I’ve had weird dates, I’ve had my share of really, REALLY mind-numbingly boring…yawn…what was I saying?

Anyway, these dates used to depress me more than the weird ones.  I mean, if I had a really bad date, I could tell all my friends a good story, write about it, and tell myself that “it’s NOT me, it’s all the crazy single men out there—that’s why I’m still single!”  But the boring ones…usually they were nice, normal, considerate…but there was no spark there.  That was harder to justify.  Why couldn’t I feel attracted to a perfectly nice guy, even if he was boring?

Even though I wished to fall for a decent, “normal” guy…I couldn’t pursue a relationship with someone who didn’t engage me.  These dates seemed like a waste of time, but none of them were.  I was reminded that I didn’t want to settle just because a guy was “nice” or “normal”.  I was reminded that all of these experiences were teaching me how to be more engaging myself, how to ask the right questions, and how to draw people out.  Even if I wasn’t attracted, I could try to have a better time.

So, I came up with a few ideas if you find you are dreading wasting another precious night on a potentially coma-inducing first date:

1. It’s only one night.  You can suck it up and make it as brief as possible.  Order only an appetizer and drink.
2. Think of all of the things you are grateful for: that you haven’t run into your ex with his new girlfriend, that your new haircut looks phenomenal, that Starbucks is across the street from where you work, that you DO work…
3. Imagine what his perfect girlfriend would be like.  Seriously, it’s kind of fun.
4. Hey, at least you might get a free drink out of it.
5. Remind yourself that you are one date closer to finding someone who rocks your world, but you have to work to get there.

About Kelly Seal

Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.

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