According to a study done by the University of Kansas (who, admittedly, I didn’t know were concerned about such things) – if you tend to blab about your life over Facebook, you’re asking for relationship problems.
This kind of seemed like a no-brainer to me. I mean, I don’t want my husband posting all kinds of stuff about our relationship over Facebook. That would seem like a betrayal of trust. But then I don’t have to worry – he’s not that kind of guy. However, I have a blog. About dating and relationships. So it’s boggling to my mind how he’s totally supportive of me doing this, knowing that I could say whatever I want about us. Which admittedly, I don’t. No offense, but this is not what my blog is about – I don’t dish. (Unless it’s about the stuff going on in my head.)
But I could. And so could he. But we both realize that there’s a line. Whatever intimacy you create between yourselves as a couple deserves its own space to live and breathe. It is the stuff that makes love move forward. It is the stuff that keeps us together, knowing these bits about each other that nobody else should know.
So then why do people still feel compelled to share their personal shit over Facebook? Well, that’s difficult. I didn’t grow up with Facebook, so I know a little about privacy. But people who grew up with social media, who had access to the Internet while they were still in diapers, well – privacy is something that is a little ill-defined.
I mean, we have online and offline versions of ourselves. That’s how I like to think of it, in a way. Sometimes they are the same, and other times you can be a little bolder with your FB persona, or maybe a little funnier or whatever. But there are some things you want kept between you and your partner. Like a naked pic or two. But as soon as you have a fight or break up, those pics are fair game, aren’t they?
But I digress. This study pointed out that people whose partners post a lot of personal stuff over Facebook are not very happy or intimate in their relationships. And that’s kind of sad. Because if one of you could get your nose out of your phone and stop posting every minute to your FB page, well then you could interact more with each other. You could be closer. It just takes some effort, and some detachment from all things electronic. It’s worth it to have a great, trusting relationship. To be totally yourself with someone else.
Have you had a relationship go south because of your Facebook addiction? Or have you broken up with someone over this?
About Kelly Seal
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
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