The election results are in (just when I thought we wouldn’t actually know until Christmas) – and it’s looking like our country is still pretty divided on how we should move forward. Obama is still our President and the House is still Republican, so can we expect the exact same bickering that we’ve endured for the past few years?
I’m an optimistic person. I think the message of this election is pretty clear: it’s time to reach across the aisle and do some work on behalf of the people. The thing is, how do you do that when you have very basic philosophical differences? Or when there is so much hate that you can’t even see the other side? I don’t know.
And this got me to thinking about my own life and how I relate to people. Specifically in romantic relationships. Because I dated a few people who didn’t get me, and didn’t really want to see my side of things – and I didn’t agree with theirs. And as much as it was fun to argue, it got to a point where I was so exhausted just to think about having a conversation that I just retreated. I pulled back. I just couldn’t engage anymore. It wore me down. (Especially when one of them started posting rants on my FB page, alienating my friends.)
But here was the basic question – why is it that I wasn’t able to compromise or come to an understanding with these boyfriends? Even a little? Both of us felt belittled by the other – unheard, undervalued, and dismissed. I think that’s the real problem.
All of this leads me to the idea of compromise. It seems like a crazy idea these days, listening to both sides of an argument. Maybe our personal relationships are slipping, too. We don’t really hear the other person’s side because we’re so busy defending our own. Maybe if we were to open up a little bit more and be more willing to see things differently it would lead to some real change.
Compromise is hard. It’s about choosing what’s most important to you, and letting the rest of your grievances go. It’s about being willing to give another view a chance. It’s about being willing to change.
So I wonder – do you think compromise will make a comeback?
About Kelly Seal
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
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