I’m a person who likes to feel in control. I like having checklists, knowing what to do in a situation, and feeling like things are falling into place in the timeframe that I want. But this isn’t usually the case.
I finished reading a really amazing memoir by Cheryl Strayed called Wild, about her hike along the Pacific Crest Trail from California to Oregon (it actually goes all the way from Mexico to Canada, but her journey was quite a ways through less than stellar circumstances). She started it in the midst of transition – giving up a drug habit, fresh from a divorce, grieving for her mother, and having no idea what to do with her life or what it should look like. She felt like the hike would heal her – and it did, just not in the way she expected.
She spent a lot of time preparing for the trip, reading books and buying equipment, but she didn’t actually prepare physically – testing out her shoes or her enormous pack. These things became burdens which she had to eventually shed in order to put one foot in front of the other. Literally. She was trapped on the trail – in order to survive, she had to push forward, putting one foot in front of the other, despite her hurt feet, her bruised shoulders, her intense thirst for both water and Snapple.
I think about this a lot now. The idea that no matter where we are, no matter how badly we feel or how much we’ve screwed up, sometimes the only thing left to do is put one foot in front of the other, pushing forward. In a way, it’s like surrender. You are not able to will yourself to go any faster, or change your circumstances. You can only press on from exactly where you are, with only what you have, shedding those things that you no longer need.
It’s a humbling thought, that sometimes this is all we can do. But also – it is enough to know that we can get ourselves there. Even if it’s one step at a time.
About Kelly Seal
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
Leave a Reply