Ok, since South Park has a new episode coming out on Facebook and Chatroulette, I think it’s time to talk about them in my blog.
First, I’ll start with Facebook. I have a love/ hate relationship with it. First off, this month is my high school reunion (I won’t say which one), and I won’t be going. Not because I am not interested in my high school friends, but because I see them all the time on Facebook. Virtually speaking. I know what they look like, how many kids they have, what their jobs are. I even know their political views and the last argument they had with their spouses. I already know too much. What would we talk about?
Let me elaborate on the last point. Facebook has produced a public forum to help vent personal aggravations as well as to share good news and to keep in touch with friends. It has also allowed us to measure the seriousness of our relationships. Did he friend you after the first date? Why is his ex girlfriend still writing on his wall? And the relationship status update has become the new “when should I tell him I love him?” part of a relationship. It has caused much turmoil and confusion for dating, which…let’s face it…was confusing enough to begin with.
There’s something about Facebook that makes our neurotic, narcissistic tendencies kick into high gear. And there’s something about the online space in general that compels us to share more information than we would in real life. In a real conversation.
Which brings me to Chatroulette. The fact that it’s based on the term “Russian Roulette” doesn’t make me feel warm and fuzzy about it. It’s kind of like “ok, you’re playing now. Bad things could happen.”
Chatroulette was started by a 17-year old, which explains its 16-year old minimum (not 18). When you log on the site, you are paired with random strangers for chats via webcam. As Bonnie mentioned in her post on About.com, it seems like a next step in new ways of meeting people to date. After all, there are lots of mobile apps to help people hook up via their phone’s GPS. More singles are online dating. Some are speed dating. Why not bring these together chatroulette-style?
Except that you could be chatting with someone halfway around the world. Or a celebrity. Or someone who’s married. Or a 16-year old kid. You never know who you’re gonna get. Oh, and there is the problem of guys jacking off on the site.
But I can see something like Chatroulette as a new type of online dating site. Instead of answering questionnaires, reading profiles, and communicating via email, you could speed up the process by jumping on Chatroulette and talking to 20 people in a night to see if there is anyone you’d like to date. It would be like speed dating, but without having to go somewhere and the chats can last as long as you’d like.
But I digress. People like online dating. They like Chatroulette. They like Facebook. These aren’t things that are going away. And part of it is because there is something less threatening about communicating via your phone or laptop than in person. And because it’s convenient. And because everyone seems to be connected all the time…we can’t be left out.
I like that we have choice when it comes to meeting people. I’m just not sold on something as random as Chatroulette for finding a significant other, or even a friend. Maybe hooking up, but then, we have a lot of ways to just hook up. Why invent more? And I’m not convinced Facebook is really the place to be testing or validating a relationship. Or to check up on your ex (you know you do).
Would you consider dating Chatroulette-style? Has Facebook caused you problems in your relationships?
About Kelly Seal
Kelly is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles, CA. She blogs about dating, relationships, personal growth and what "healthy living" means to her. You can follow her on Google+, Twitter @kellyseal or through her website www.kellyseal.com.
I did the personal ads WAY BACK when it wasn’t cool to do them. I just wanted to check it out and it was worth it. (Personal Ads Fairy Tale)
Anyway, I like Facebook, but I would never post anything on there that might embarrass me or my wife or family. Some people put crazy shit up there. I’m shocked. WTH!!
I think meeting someone online is just as random as meeting someone at a bar, without all the electricity. It’s probably a better way to weed out the psychos. Although, people can hide behind their computers and lie their assess off, but that’s life in the dating world.
I guess I’m just skeptical with the whole Chatroulette thing, especially because I see this heading in the direction of dating. I just feel like the Internet is something we can hide behind, like texting—it allows us to “kind of” plan, “kind of” date, without any follow-through. It’s just another random encounter that doesn’t mean anything and doesn’t go anywhere. Sigh.
Well interestingly I find FB can be cleansing. eg if you have been seeing someone for 6 months or so and he is still single on his FB profile… hmmm?? could be worth some investigation. Some men are happy to put ‘in a relationship’ while others wait until the ring is on the finger.
It took my niece to teach me this one. So although people can hide behind internet profiles etc, these can also be a magnifying glass to show cracks!
Making a Great personal ad – Be honest – As I stated above what exactly is the point of misleading a person, it will only result in disappointment for both of you. If someone says they are looking for an athletic sort it really is unlikely they’ll alter their mind on a first date and they’re also not likely to trust anything else about you.